Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
