Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
