I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
