return my video game
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
