The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
