come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
