He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
