I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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