Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
