they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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