well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
