What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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