Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
