i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
