i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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