imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So vagazzling was a success
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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