We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
