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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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