Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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