sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
