make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
