Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He better not be in your backpack
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
