i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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