Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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