I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
