I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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