No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
