if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
