RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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