You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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