A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
