i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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