Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
