it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
