Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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