is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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