i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
