Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
