if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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