You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
