People in love make me want to vomit
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And then he peed in my hair
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