i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
