You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
