i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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