Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
