I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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