I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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