They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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