You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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