he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
