I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
