So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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