I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so let's talk penis.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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